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This week is maternal mental health awareness week by Perinatal Mental Health Partnership so I'm adding a trigger warning before you continue.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I don't feel I was prepared atall mentally. With a history of anxiety and depression I had a hard time. I was plagued by horrendous intrusive thoughts but was too scared to tell anyone as I thought it wouldn't end well for me or baby.

So by bottling everything up, after a difficult birth, I ended up with PTSD and PND. I have talked about this in the past and have always made sure to share honestly on this page.

Even now, almost 10 years on. I can only remember snippets of her first year, it's just a traumatic blur and too upsetting.

Luckily I have a very supportive partner and family, but he wasn't offered any support to deal with his side of things.

Babywearing made a HUGE difference, and it's one of the reasons I do what I do today. Being able to have my baby safe, secure and content attached to me but at the same time having my freedom.I was able to be me, go a walk or to the shops. Not just be mumWow that was such an amazing feeling and I can still remember the overwhelm of emotions that came with it!

This picture is one of our first, after being home from 2nd hospital stay, daddy was back at work and I was alone. I'm smiling but what you can't see is the panic, guilt and stress.

I had put her in her bouncy chair in the bathroom while I got a shower and she was crying. I just wanted to be clean and wash my hair and felt so guilty doing so.

Thankfully she calmed while I dried my hair and I got dressed. I took the picture because I looked 'good' and baby was happy.

But please, be kind to yourself. Ask for help, take the time, don't feel guilty for needing to step away and do something to be you!

We are everything to our children, but we need to make sure we give ourselves enough too.

Being a parent, especially a birthing parent can be so difficult at times. Please ask and take support when you can.

And that's what I'm here to do, I want to support you to have that WOW feeling to be yourself.

I'm always here and happy to support because I've been there. ❤️

Laurna xx

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